This woman is a total badass. She rose to national attention last weekend with her last minute header against Brazil, saving the US team from certain defeat (awesome photos here and here). She followed that with the go-ahead header goal near the end of Wednesday’s semi-final game against France (another great photo). This is the first most of us (including me) have ever heard of her, but she’s been an ass-kicker her entire playing life. This is her third World Cup appearance, and she now stands in a first place tie for the most World Cup goals ever scored by an American, at 12. I’m rooting for her to knock in a few more on Sunday.
Badass
Pitty poor Aya Sameshima, the 5’4” Japanese defender who will be marking Abby for Sunday’s World Cup Final. During Japan’s semi-final game against Sweden, the announcers felt the need to point out that Sameshima was the worst player on the Japanese team several times. Now she has to give up seven inches to the best header-scorer in the women’s game…poor girl.
Sameshida "guarding" Wambach at a friendly match earlier this year
Note: The “Butch” reference above is not to imply that Abby Wambach herself is a lesbian. I have no idea. Her butchy build is genetic, and her butchy haircut is frankly very practical for her line of work. I just mean that she is a nice bit of eye candy for that community. Just like how all the Chelsea boys love Cristiano Ronaldo, even though he is straight.
Can’t say I’ve watched much women’s soccer before the USA v. Brazil WC quaterfinal three days ago, but I’ve become a big fan since then. I’ve found the games quite enjoyable to watch. This surprised me, because I find women’s basketball and hockey painfully unenjoyable, and I had always assumed those to be the closest analogs to women’s soccer. But maybe the best analogy is women’s tennis, which, of course, is perfectly enjoyable and very popular. That’s because women’s tennis is not just a less-athletic version of men’s tennis, but rather a slightly different game with certain advantages over the men’s game. Below are three reasons why women’s soccer is better than men’s soccer.
1. Better ball control. FIFA publishes possession statistics for men’s games. In the recent Barcelona v. ManU Champions’ League final, ball possession was like 70% Barcelona v. 30% ManU. But in reality, most of the time in men’s games the ball is in open space with neither team really having control. Not so in the women’s game. Passes are crisper, dribbling is sharper, and it’s just generally easier to see plays develop. That’s an important improvement.
2. Better sportsmanship. The most frustrating things about the men’s game is FAKE injuries. Despite the cynical display by Brazil in Sunday’s game against the USWNT, the women’s game is relatively free of this shameful behavior. There are fewer penalties, fewer injuries, and importantly, fewer fake injuries. Women just play a cleaner game.
3. USA! The US is to women’s soccer what Brazil is to men’s. The US has been to six World Cup semifinals, more than any other country and more than this year’s three other semifinalists combined. Every time the US takes the pitch, they have a good shot at winning. It’s a lot easier to get into a sport that your team is good at.
Please be advised that The Hose has officially jumped onto the Women’s World Cup US Women’s National Team bandwagon. Between today and Sunday’s final, look out for multiple USWNT posts. GO USA!!! WOOOOO!!!
My jingoistic streak aside, the fact that Qatar (is it really pronounced “cutter”?) was awarded the 2022 FIFA World Cup confounded me.
I totally get that, much like the Olympics, the World Cup is a celebration of what unifies us rather than what divides us and soccer is a powerful unifying theme. And hey, MORE after the jump…
The Bump checks in to put the finishing touches on the World Cup, discuss the difference between the Premiership and La Liga and debate Landon Donovan’s future. The guys also discuss Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert and his comedy web postings.
Awwwwwwwww…Post match, Iker Casillas almost cried and was so moved by the victory that all he could do was tongue down his other worldly beautiful girlfriend (and Telecinco Sportscaster) Sara Carbonera.
I am literally moved.
(PS – this is an awful translation)
Congratulations to Spain on winning their first World Cup Championship over a plucky Dutch side that did everything it could to turn this into an a very cynical and occasionally brutal match.
The winning gol was scored by Andres Iniesta (FC Barcelona) but the players that carried this side over the course of the tournament were goalie Iker Casillas (Real Madrid) and striker David Villa (FC Barcelona).
Performance in the final aside, one has to commend the Dutch for theirr plucky play throughout the tournament. Our lasting memories of them should be their performance in an exhilarating semi-final against Uruguay not what happened today.
The preliminary reports indicate that this World Cup Final will exceed viewership for the Beijing Olympic Opening Ceremonies – to date the most watching event on TV across the world.
We aren’t done with soccer yet. The Bump and I are planning on checking back in periodically with La Liga updates and I believe Sparks is already getting his sons sized for Everton and Intermilan jerseys.
Thanks to all of you for watching along with us. It’s been an awesome tournament.
Yesterday a team of fightin’ Dutchman led by two beautifully bald stars breezed past the scrappy Uruguay team led by Diego Forlan, who has so many flowing locks of blond hair he needs to wear a little girl’s headband during matches. It was a huge triumph for baldness over rich manes. The BGC was showing replays all night long (BGC = Bald Guy Channel, channel 246 on Direct TV).
But that isn’t the biggest Great Moment in Baldness that Dutch midfielder Wesley Sneijder has given us. Bigger still is his snagging fiancée Yolanthe Cabau van Kasbergen. Yowza! Way to go, Baldy!
How good to you think she looks in wooden shoes?
If you would like to learn more about Ms. van Kasbergen, I direct you to the marginally SFW links here and here.
I can’t wait for this stupid World Cup thing to be over. Soccer is a ridiculous sport. And by “ridiculous,” I mean “ridiculous”… not RIDIC, which is a totally different thing.
Here are my recommendations on how to make soccer better:
1. Let players ride on horses and allow them to hit the ball with a long mallet.
2. Start the game with the score 5 to 5.
3. Every 5 shots on goal counts as 1 real goal.
4. Topless cheerleaders! Huzzah!
5. Hold the World Cup only once every 40 years.
Soccer fans for world, you can thank me later. Actually… thank me now!!!
I am not a soccer fan but I was in the edge of my seat during the Uruguay-Ghana game. I was one of the few rooting for Ghana in the middle of a predominantly Uruguayan crowd.
History was made yesterday.
For generations, young boys throughout Africa will grow up hearing the story of yesterday’s epic finish.
In the one hundred and twentieth minute of a tied game to become the first ever African team to reach the World Cup Semifinals, the Black Stars of Africa, as they’ve been called in the past several days, are inches from getting the goal. The ball is flying into the empty net, with the Uruguayan goalie helplessly looking back steps away. In the last moment, the top Uruguayan attacker hits the ball with his hand, earning the red card and the penalty kick for Ghana. The goal is denied, but the intense hope lives on. Asamoah Gyan has already scored two penalty kicks in this World Cup and his run to the ball puts the entire continent on the absolute edge of their seats. Crossbar!! He misses and collapses on the turf in agony. In less than a second, the entire landmass of Africa experiences a cruel rush of emotion, from extatic elation to absolute disappointment. The game goes into the penalty kicks, but the rest of the shootout just confirms their gloomy fate. Ghana is going home. Uruguay advances. A finish fit for storybooks for generations to come.
This made the Dutch upset of Brazil seem quite normal and ordinary…
One of the most famous goalkeeping plays ever – Rene Higuitas of Colombia Scorpion Kicks an English shot on goal out of the net…
I was reminded of this play watching the ESPN documentary “The Two Escobars” about the late 80s rise of the Colombian National Soccer team and its ties to soccer investments by Pablo Escobar.
I was giddy watching some of my old favorites. I mean who doesn’t love Carlos Valderrama’s hair?
Argentinian Andres Cantor, long time spanish language voice of soccer broadcasting in the US, breaks down and cries (in Spanish) as Landon Donovan scores the winner over Algeria.
I have been listening to this for days.
Now today’s match up.
Ghana, a relative World Cup newcomer, eliminated the US in 2006 and possess a side that is appears bigger, stronger and faster than the US!
On the other hand, the US plays some very together futbol and have shed their conservative image, embracing a more wide open attack. Can the US win?
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Congratulations to Spain on winning their first World Cup Championship over a plucky Dutch side that did everything it could to turn this into an a very cynical and occasionally brutal match.
Though I picked the Netherlands to win during the Hosecast with the Bump. I did not want it to go down like this.
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