Che Mysterio is not a person who normally watches beisbol. (Snoooooze!) My sports of choice are futbol and chicken fighting. But thanks to Google’s new facial recognition algorithm, I was able to find something verrry in-ter-es-ting…

According to Google, the person with the turtle head behind home plate has a 99.5% facial similarity to the person on this blog you call Evil. Now, I don’t know Evil personally, but based on what I’ve read on this lame blog, Evil positions himself as a man of the people. He shuns the “high rolling” lifestyle led by KillerB. He scoffs at the west coast financial excess of Sparks.

So someone explain to me how Evil is sitting behind home page at a Red Sox game?!

Posted on July 24th, 2011 Filed in: Life Tags: Evil

In the last week Evil has posted 13 Facebook status updates with links to his employer’s web content.  The topics have included a few that no doubt interest Evil, like the Giants v. Eagles game, but most of them appear to be just thinly veiled attempts to push his company’s content on people.  I mean, does Evil really care about make up tips for red heads?  How much a Thanksgiving dinner costs?  A ferris wheel that someone in Atlanta is thinking about building?  Seems like a naked ploy to get his highly desirable group of nearly 900 18-35 year old yuppie Facebook “friends” to click on the links.

Question 1:  Is Evil using his Facebook account to spam people on behalf of his employer?  Question 2:  Is this reasonable behavior?

Posted on November 18th, 2010 Filed in: Life Tags: Evil, Sparks=Wrong

I’ve had a change of heart. I would like to publicly apologize to Turdhurdler for every bad thing I’ve ever said or written about him. Turdhurdler is not a phony. He is a good guy. He has a good heart and he likes to help people… and cats. While I’ve been out of town, Turdhurdler has been nice enough to come to my apartment to keep my roommate company. My roommate is very social, so it wouldn’t have been good to leave him along for 4 days straight. That Turdhurdler is a good guy. We should figure out a way to bring him back to the Hose somehow.

Posted on August 31st, 2010 Filed in: Life Tags: Evil, turdhurdler

I’m in California for three days this week. Yesterday, I was in our Silicon Valley Office #1, doing a bunch of meet-and-greets. It was exhausting.

Today, I was in San Francisco, doing basically wall-to-wall customer meetings. During a break, I ducked into our San Francisco sales office and met some colleagues. It was exhausting.

I got back to my hotel room at 5:30pm. I’ve literally spent the last 2.5 hours lying in bed, in silence. For introverts, having to meet people and do things like talk and socialize is exhausting.

I am exhausted.

(More customer meetings tomorrow morning and then driving down to our Silicon Valley Office #2 to meet more people.)

Posted on May 13th, 2010 Filed in: Life Tags: Evil

Posted on February 8th, 2010 Filed in: Entertainment, Life Tags: Evil, Looky-likeys, Manolo

Evil! (Part 1 of 2). Evil drops in to discuss the year that was and the year that will be on the Hose. He also gives fans an inside look at how the Hose is put together. Finally, xTian gives Evil a Date or Die update…

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Posted on January 13th, 2010 Filed in: Entertainment Tags: Evil, the Hosecast, xtian

“There are an a**load of motherf*ckers in there right now”.

The bouncer outside Jumbo’s Clown Room was exactly the sort of person we had been encountering all weekend, someone very intentionally semi-disheveled and projecting an air of confidence about it that I could never match.
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I wondered aloud if people should hide their mothers, given the sheer numbers of motherf*ckers in the vicinity. Only Evil laughed. When I asked if any of the goth burlesque dancers inside would make me a balloon animal, I was met with blank stares.

I would categorize this as an auspicious end to an entertaining if non traditional engagement/wedding weekend.

Evil and I had met up the day prior in LA. We were in town because the AY (formerly the MPCGEB) was getting married (sometime soon) and she wanted to hold a pre-reception for all her friends. In truth, it’s not obvious to me why I was invited, but I was so I came. I had met her boyfriend maybe twice and both times walked away worried that he was moments from kissing me. Outside of them, the only person I knew there was Evil.

For his part, Evil is properly great friends with the AY and absolutely should be there. So he traveled farther than I, getting on a plane yesterday (though there it was already today) just to make the event. When we met I noticed he was sipping Ginger Ale, Evil admitted that he overdosed on Ambien on the plane and proceeded to vomit in the aisle before he passed out about 1 hour into the flight. I found this hilarious. He did not even seem remotely embarrassed.

He was even less embarrassed when he put on his pork pie hat and suggested we walk two blocks and get in line for Jimmy Kimmel Live. Ostensibly, our agenda was to be invited to Jimmy’s house for Sunday football with the Killers, Tom Cruise’s mom, Adam Corolla and the Sports Guy Bill Simmons. What Evil neglected to mention to me was that he really wanted to see the Twilight kids. That was a major disappointment, no Twilight kids (they were pretaped) and no invite to Sunday football. Evil and I were disappointed. Evil was so disappointed that he ordered a pizza at 3am and ripped it apart.

The weekend itself was more hipster than I expected. There was a visit to the Magic Castle, the rental of the most awesome Korean BBQ Taco Truck, a 5 card no limit texas hold ‘em tournament and me singing a very disturbing rendition of Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club Band.

Saturday night, we did Dining in the Dark and ate in complete darkness – pretty wild. Coming back from our evening out, Evil and I introduced a brother on the trip with us to In-N-Out and we tore it up animal style at 2am.

It was good to see Evil again…

Posted on November 24th, 2009 Filed in: Life Tags: Evil, mpcgeb, xtian

Evil, Killer B #1 and Killer B #2 stop by to discuss the recent run of celebrity deaths and muse on who might be next.

Programming Note – This was actually recorded almost immediately after Michael Jackson died but given the tone of ‘cast we decided to hold off till people had some time to reflect and mourn.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Posted on July 21st, 2009 Filed in: Entertainment, Life Tags: Ask KillerB1, Evil, the Hosecast, xtian

Because you don’t hate us enough yet, Evil came back and dragged xTian into more offensive chatter…

This week we build off the ongoing discussion of celebrity hotness. Evil tests xTian’s ability to guess potential ages of female celebrities. Along the way, the guys discuss what makes these women more or less hot and the downside of Crystal Meth.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Posted on June 10th, 2009 Filed in: Entertainment Tags: celebrity, Evil, the Hosecast, xtian

I spent four days and four nights in NYC last week. Here’s the detailed recap:

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Day 1 – Napped off my redeye sleepiness.

Night 1 – Had a drinking contest with xTian, Le Troisieme, and Our Black Friend. Pulled a respectable tie with Le Trois. Crushed xTian, who actually ordered water at one point. Stayed out past 3am for the first time since…well, since last time I was in NYC.

Day 2 – Fought and won a gallant struggle to prevent my stomach from leaping out of my mouth. Made it in to work at 4pm.

Day 3 – Spent a beautiful NYC Saturday visiting old friends, wandering the Upper West Side, and wondering why KB1 wasn’t returning my calls (ah yes, Ecuador).

Night 3 – Late night at a Koreatown karaoke bar, just days before the NYTimes deemed it cool.

Day 4 – Became a Godfather! Tried to meet up with xTian, who informed me at 4pm that he was too hung over to consider meeting me. Went to a secret cocktail lounge speakeasy that THE VERY NEXT DAY appeared in a NYTimes article about secret cocktail lounge speakeasies.

Not a bad trip, all in all. A few general observations:

1. This is the first time I’ve felt generationally older than most of the people roaming the streets in Manhattan. Everyone is in their mid-20’s, just like Catjjy and I were when we lived there.

2. I spent quality walk-around time in probably 10 distinct neighborhoods. The demographics in every neighborhood were nearly identical: white and Asian people in their mid 20’s. But the styles changed at every subway stop. Columbia was all college gear and Urban Outfitters. UWS was Gap/BR. UES was swimming in Lilly Pulitzer. K-town was keeping LV and Gucci in business. The LES was a large-format American Apparel ad. It was just like The Warriors.

3. I didn’t see Evil once. Hadn’t realized he was back from China. This is all xTian’s fault, since he is the only person who knew we were both in town.

4. NYC doesn’t feel as economically depressed as I thought it would, but I was still able to go do pretty much whatever I wanted to do on short notice.

5. The trip would have been much more fun with Catjjy and The Cha.

6. I probably saw more human beings in four days than I have in the last six months combined. NYC has an incredible energy to it that even other major cities, like San Francisco, cannot match.

7. I used to live in NYC and still love it, but I sure was happy to come home to the Bay Area.

Posted on June 5th, 2009 Filed in: Life Tags: catjjy, Evil, KillerB1, Le Trois, New York Times, xtian

EVIL IS BACK (!) and the Hosecast has him here for a double dip.

In Part 1, Evil tells xTian all about China, the underbelly of economic hyper expansion and basket jobs.

In Part 2, xTian and Evil go over the changes to the Hose since Evil went off the grid. Evil unable to help himself picks a fight with a fan favorite Catjjy, explains why Michelle Obama is not sexy, and clears up the entire Marisa Tomei issue once and for all.
MORE after the jump…

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Posted on June 2nd, 2009 Filed in: Entertainment Tags: catjjy, Evil, the Hosecast

The people have spoken! Adam Lambert is a better bet than all the rest
Qualitative research after the poll shows

• You are convinced that Glen Beck will end up doing something awful to himself on camera
• Mark Sanchez will complete less touchdown passes than the number of models he bangs
• Swine Flu is a passing fad, going the way of fanny packs and Swatches
• Gavin Newsome’s political career will be undermined by an extreme fiscal and social conservative with a B List acting background

Posted on May 20th, 2009 Filed in: Life Tags: ask xtian, Evil, poll results

Evil

Just read this quote by Kelly Clarkson, talking about her dating life:

“I don’t ever worry about it. I really love being single. I like having that freedom,” Kelly explained. ” I like having that freedom. I’m only 26 years old so I’m not in any kind of rush… I’m not really that girl that’s looking for it.”

Whoa, BIG MISTAKE!

Listen to me, Kelly. You might be 26 now, but you’ll be 36 in no time at all. And let’s face it, you’re not the kind of person who’s going to get better looking with age. Even watching you go from age 23 to age 26 has been pretty painful. You’re an awesome singer and I love to you to death, but don’t focus 100% on your career and then drown your sorrows in Haagen Dazs at night. Take it from someone who knows first hand. Go out there and meet some people!

Posted on May 3rd, 2009 Filed in: Uncategorized Tags: Evil

Makes sense to me.

Posted on February 17th, 2009 Filed in: Uncategorized Tags: China, Evil

Evil

Dear Xtian- With the Super Bowl less than 2 weeks away, I had a football-related question. What is the difference between the 4-3 defense and the 3-4 defense? More specifically, why do people always talk about it like it is fundamentally such a big deal for a team to play one defense vs. the other? Can’t players be flexible enough to play both defenses, and switch up as the game conditions dictate?

Posted on January 21st, 2009 Filed in: Sports Tags: ask xtian, Evil, Sports, xtian