What a night, Idol fans!  I think I can say without hyperbole that the second hour of last night’s show was perhaps the best hour the show has ever assembled.  Three of the remaining four contestants were absolutely peaking.  The theme of the hour was “songs you wish you had written,” or as further explained because that makes no sense, songs that inspire the contestants.  For the record, I’m skipping the first hour, with the theme “song by bands from California, or about California,” which was fine but lackluster.  On to that second hour:

Phillip Phillips got us started with a cover of “Volcano” by Damien Rice, a song and artist I didn’t know before last night, but who probably had the most profitable day of his life on iTunes today.  It was sexy, bluesy, and understated.  It fit him like a glove, and was by far his best performance of the season.   Until this performance, I had written Phillip off.  The other three remaining contestants can sing circles around him.  His song choices were weak, his stage presence is static, and he really just seemed to stick around because he is the resident heartthrob this season.  After “Volcano,” I’m back in his camp.  If he can keep connecting with songs like he did last night, he could win an honest victory over the better singers.

Hollie Cavanagh was next up.  She chose to sing a gut-wrenching song about a middle age woman coming to terms with the dissolution of her marriage (Bonnie Rait’s “I Can’t Make You Love Me”).  Bonnie sells it; Hollie doesn’t.  It was just a strange song choice for a 16 year old and it ended up being the the weakest performance of an exceptional hour, but I’d still give it maybe an 8 out of 10.  Sadly for her, even that perfectly competent performance should be enough to seal her doom tonight.

Joshua Ledet then took the judges out of their seats with a loud, passionate rendition of James Brown’s “A Man’s World.”    Joshua is always very good, even if his song choices are suspect.  Still, I feel comfortable calling this his best performance of the season also.  That’s two for three.

Jessica Sanchez capped off the night performing the song “And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going” by Jennifer Holiday from Dreamgirls.  Holy crap.  If you want to see a musical prodigy in total control of her instrument, do yourself a favor and watch the video.  The first 1:20 may come off as typical R&B ballad, but starting there and for the rest of the song, she goes toe-to-toe with the biggest voices in the business.  It was a startling performance.  The contrast between Hollie stumbling through a chorus of “I can’t make you love me,” and Jessica tearing the roof off with the chorus “you will love me,” provided a perfect summation of the two girls’ relative performances.  Her best performance of the season – three for four!

Hollie should be packing her bags, but this is a voting show, so we can’t ignore crowd appeal.  Philip has the power-texting teenage girl block locked, so I can’t imagine him going anywhere.    Unfortunately for Joshua and Jessica, Hollie does have a better built-in fan base.  It’s not that people are racist, but many people do identify with people who look and sound more like them.  Jessica and Joshua both sing pretty black, and that is a small minority of AI’s viewership.  Who knows.  One of them may go home tonight for failing to connect to AI’s audience, but it would be a head-held-high dismissal, with a record contract waiting for them in the dressing room.

Posted on May 10th, 2012 Filed in: Entertainment Tags: American Idol Rewind, Sparks=Wrong

We can discuss whether or not she is attractive in 2016

We’ve been slow in picking up coverage of 2012 American Idol.  There are now just seven Idols left, and the judges have already used their save.  From a technical perspective, this is probably the best group of seven the show has ever produced.  Three of them – Jessica, Joshua and Holly – are legitimately excellent technical singers, and the other four pull off their on-stage schtick with aplomb.  Now that we’ve cut some of the obvious non-competitors (ahn yong he ca say oh, Heejun), it’s gotten very difficult to handicap a favorite.  The Official Hose Contestant Profiles are below the fold.

MORE after the jump…

Posted on April 19th, 2012 Filed in: Entertainment Tags: American Idol Rewind, Sparks=Wrong

Who is still watching Idol? Catjjy and I are, but not with much passion. Here’s a quick run down of last night’s two-song, Lady Gaga-coached episode:

Scotty McCreery – Came out with a weepy and weep-inducing cover of that Alan Jackson song about September 11. Nice job. The second song was some cheesy 50s nonsense. It was an awkward, groan-inducing, pretty crappy performance, but nobody seemed to notice and everyone just told him how great he is.

Lauren Alaina – Something by Martina McBride, and then an unknown Elvis song about being Evil. I didn’t get it. I think this might be the end of Laurne.

James Durbin – Started off with Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’, which everyone loved (of course). He followed that with Love Potion #9, which was also competently performed.

Haley Reinhart – Some dumb song by Michael Jackson that everyone hated, and then a great song by Ben E. King that everyone loved.

I think Lauren and Haley are in danger, and suspect that Lauren will be packing her bags.  Better not be Scotty, because my niece is all ready to attend his Homecoming thing next Saturday in North Carolina.  We’ll see if we can get a guest-post from her about the festivities.

On a side note, I haven’t spent much time learning about Lady Gaga. She’s batshit crazy. But she also gave the best advice of any guest coach so far this year.

Posted on May 12th, 2011 Filed in: Entertainment Tags: American Idol Rewind

It’s The Top Six!

Ryan does a crazy intro where all the kids are on stage in a row. Jacob has been dressed by Farnsworth Bentley tonight. Casey looks stoned.

J-Lo…wow..she looks amazing. The earth is totally moving under her feet and under my pants. Hahahah. Has Randy always worn a RJ monogrammed cardigan?

Oh yeah, it’s Carole King Night!

I love Carole King and that whole Brill Building thing. I also love her whole Laurel Canyon phase. I loved her appearances on Gilmore Girls. I actually watched that “Live At the Troubadour” Special on PBS like a dozen times. What I mean to say is that I am really excited about tonight. Let me throw some predictions out there before we get to the action.

• I will want to punch Scotty in the face.
• I bet Jacob Lusk will do well tonight, Carole King sounds like something he will go crazy with.
• Haley will also do well.

OK, onto the show! MORE after the jump…

Posted on April 28th, 2011 Filed in: Life Tags: American Idol Rewind

First of all, let’s clear up some loose ends from last week:

1.     If you felt sad after Pia!’s departure, turn that frown upside down.  Within 24 hours, Jimmy I. was banging on her hotel room door with a rumored contract with Interscope AND a date with Mark Ballas.  Sounds like getting the boot from Idol was the best thing that could have happened to her.

2.     The top two contenders are NOT Jacob and Stefano.  (Ha ha, kidding)  Apparently, they are Scotty and Lauren.  Feasible, and would actually be a good finale.

Now, on to our show… MORE after the jump…

Posted on April 14th, 2011 Filed in: Entertainment Tags: American Idol Rewind

Big show open! THIS! IS. AMERICAN IDOL!

Wooooooo!

I am covering for KillerB tonight, who’s busy pounding the treadmill at the gym.

MORE after the jump…

Posted on April 6th, 2011 Filed in: Entertainment Tags: American Idol Rewind

We start with Casey’s non-elimination yesterday. The director does this crazy thing where flash cut through stills of reaction shots. Naima looks like she smelled something bad. Woah, I missed the elimination show. Hulk Hogan was on? AWESOME! I hope he got 50K for ripping his shirt, he kind of needs the money.

It’s alright Hulkster, we’ll get through it together.

What? Oh…its this week and there is singing…right…ahem

IT”S ELTON JOHN WEEK!
MORE after the jump…

Posted on March 31st, 2011 Filed in: Entertainment Tags: American Idol Rewind

Zip it up, buddy, it's a family show

Ahoy there, singing fans!  I’m pulling a shift for KillerB, who is trapped atop his laundry ladder and awaiting assistance from the FDNY.  Hang in there, buddy!!

MoTown week!  Lots of great music to choose from here.  And very importantly, NO WHITNEY HOUSTON!!  I’m excited.

Just 11 contestants left.  After tomorrow night, we will know which 10 singing sensations will be headlining the American Idol Tour this summer.  I’m waiting until then to buy tickets.  Beginning last week, I started fast forwarding through all of the judges’ commentary.  I like watching it that way and will continue to do so.  Simon used to say interesting things now and then, but these three unfortunately do not.  Anyway, if the judges say or do something particularly interesting, you’ll have to help me out in the comments section.

MORE after the jump…

Posted on March 24th, 2011 Filed in: Life Tags: American Idol Rewind, Sparks=Wrong

Thia? More Like "Thigh-a"

Birth year week!  This is probably my favorite theme week on the show.  Sadly, though, this turned into a diva-thon.  Was that really all that was going on from 1988 – 1995?

MORE after the jump…

Posted on March 17th, 2011 Filed in: Entertainment Tags: American Idol Rewind, Sparks=Wrong

Cold Open – It’s dark and Randy is imploring people to donate to people of Japan. J-Lo glows radiantly next to him and Steven is to the back of them, dressed like a hippie tranny. He stands there limply as though someone slipped him some GHB.

It’s top 12! Wooooooooooooooo. MORE after the jump…

Posted on March 17th, 2011 Filed in: Entertainment Tags: American Idol Rewind

It’s too early to start talking about contestants on American Idol, but I have a few notes on the new post-Simon format.

• I haven’t thought about Jennifer Lopez in years, and didn’t think much of the announcement that she would be on the show – another sorta famous person.  Yawn.  I was wrong.  She is a STAR.  She radiates beauty and charisma and….starness on each and every show.  I’m afraid, however, that she will not have very constructive criticism.  Now that everyone left is pretty good, she is slipping into a Paula-esque role of seeing the good in everybody.
• Steven Tyler was sooooo creepy during the try-outs.  The ease with which this guy can hit on 16 year olds is amazing.  When you stop and think about it, this guy has been getting BJs from 18-year-old girls for almost half a century!!!  He’s got it down to a science.  Amusing as that is, I’m afraid he won’t add much to the show once it gets going.  Like J-Lo, he has a hard time delivering the hard news in all but the most obvious cases.
• This show is supposed to be rudderless without Simon.  That may turn out to be the case.  I don’t know if Randy has it in him to play the heel. So the question is, do we watch for the singers, or watch for the judging?
• I understand the need to divide a group of 24 into two so you can get through everyone, but does anyone else think that male/female is a pretty stale way to categorize the contestants?  If you want to divide people by sub-genre, it would be better to pick 12 white people and 12 black people.  Or if you want to be random, just take 12 people whose names start with letters A-M, and 12 from N-Z.
• I hear that they are going to let people stick to one genre throughout the season, so the rocker guy won’t have to do a country night, and the alt-chick won’t have to do MoTown.  Sounds good to me. I hope they stick with that.

Top 12 starts next week.

Posted on March 4th, 2011 Filed in: Entertainment Tags: American Idol Rewind, Sparks=Wrong

I don’t know why I never thought of this before, but the “You are what you eat” maxim apparently also holds true for Prime Time TV and political leanings.

Consumer Research firm Experian Simmons recently published this helpful  study that suggests that if you ever A) end up at a gallery opening with a Self-Righteous Republican, see if they think there will finally be an all-female winning team on Amazing Race this season, or B) get cornered at a fundraiser to Save the Wetlands (To do what with them? Dry them?) with a Whiny Democrat, ask them what they thought of Rita’s most recent turn on Dexter.  MORE after the jump…

Posted on November 12th, 2010 Filed in: Entertainment Tags: American Idol Rewind, mad men, politics, T-mo, we like to watch

Wow!  What a week it has been!  Two finales of our favorite shows.  I know not everyone was glued to the TV like me (ahem, Evil and xTran out partying), but these were my first finales!  Now, I’m sad they are over.  It’s a tough couple weeks here in late-May when these shows end. 

Anyway, a few burning questions:

1. How do Hosers feel about this week’s results?
2. Any other shows that folks will sorely miss until the Fall?
3. What are we going to occupy our time and energy with now?

Posted on May 27th, 2010 Filed in: Life, Politics/Economics Tags: American Idol Rewind, DWTS

Are we ready to idolize this guy?

Man, this season of American Idol is really going out with a whimper, isn’t it?  I didn’t take good notes last night, so here is a quick run down.

Casey James – Two incredibly forgettable performances.  There is no question that he was the weakest performer tonight, in both the freestyle and judges’ choice performances.  He should go home, though I have learned not to underestimate the voting power of teenage girls.  If he stays, it’s due to hair alone (damn him!).

Lee DeWyze – He had two pretty good performances, including Simon’s corny, over-the-top, and religiously offensive choice of Hallelujah.  Note the offense is in making someone of unknown religious belief sing a hymn, and indeed, Lee seemed a bit freaked out by the request.

Cystal Bowersox – An up and down week.  Her choice performance of Come to My Window was pretty weak, but her Ellen’s Choice Paul McCartney cover was pretty good.

Up until last night, I had expected Crystal to win it all.  But Lee showed some unexpected chops versus Crystal’s lackluster songs.  Should make next week competitive, unless 100,000 teenage girls submit 10,000 text votes each for Casey James, as they did last year for Kris Allen.

Rank: Lee, Crystal, Casey

Posted on May 19th, 2010 Filed in: Entertainment Tags: American Idol Rewind

Sigh.  Clearly, I’ve got to pick up the pieces and ad hoc write up the Idol recap because of the rest of the slackers.  So, I’ll do it from memory.  At work.  

 Highlights:

•  The Idols are doing a Sinatra medley and they all look so cute dressed up.  I had no idea how short Crystal was.
• The Ford Fiesta commercial – cheesy!
• We learn what they were all doing on Tuesdays before the season started.  Lee works in a paint shop – so cute, that fits him.  Crystal played with her baby.  Aaron was a tool and studied for school.  Can’t remember what Casey was doing – lost train of thought during his segment.  Big Mike – pumping iron.    
• Lee is up first and he looks so nervous!  Soon he is called to safety.    
• Lady Gaga performs in a black web costume.  I am amazed at how they transformed the stage so quickly during the commercial break.  She has a RIDIC body and is a pretty amazing performer in terms of going OTT (over the top).  Gaga holds nothing back.
• Scenes are shown from the contestants’ time with Harry Connick.  He is hilarious and pokes fun at all of them.  He calls Casey’s mom and tells her that her son is ugly.  He tells Crystal she has a bird hanging from her ear, and Mike to dump the baby stories.
• Connick sings.  He’s dreamy.  Oh so much dream on this show.
• Ryan splits the remaining four into two groups:   Crystal and Casey.  Mike and Aaron.  It’s funny when he asks nervous Lee if he would choose the safety pair.  Mike and Aaron in the bottom two!  Shocker!  Casey’s safe and I do a rain dance around the living room much to Kentak’s disapproval.
• Either Big Mike or little pipsqeak Aaron.  Drumroll…it’s Aaron!  He looks like he’s gonna start bawling, but he makes it through “Fly Me to the Moon” again to redeem himself.  

 Next week:  pimpin’ Jamie Foxx and songs of the cinema.

Posted on May 6th, 2010 Filed in: Life Tags: American Idol Rewind